What do you think about forgiveness? Who should it be extended to and in what cases? How often should I forgive? What if their sin against me is just too great?
These are all questions that we struggle with when faced with the choice to forgive or resent. Let's be honest and admit that when somebody hurts us, our natural inclination is to hate. Our natural desire is to get back at them for what they have done, or to even simply become such a worldly success in hopes that they regret doing wrong toward us.
These attitudes, thoughts, desires, beliefs, and/or actions are natural to us because they are our default. Many times we will make the expression or statement about something we are really good at by saying, "It's like second nature to me!" I want to tell you right now, so listen up, unforgiveness and sin of any kind are not "like" second nature to any of us, they are first nature! This is who we are apart from God.
Think about it. What would be the easiest thing to do in a situation where you are the victim, or you are the one feeling violated? No matter who you are in this world, the most effortless and weak thing to do is to hold a grudge. It is not, however, just the most effortless or simple, but it is what is most pleasant in our eyes. As sinful humanity, we take great pleasure in thinking the world revolves around us and our problems. We seem to find enjoyment, delight, and satisfaction in watching other people suffer.
So how does Christ address this area in our lives? In the book of Matthew, the disciple Peter brings a question to Jesus. This is one of those moments when Peter thought he was really being generous. According to the Jewish custom, it was acceptable to forgive someone up to three times, then after that they were encouraged by their peers, their culture, and sadly just the plain evil of their heart to give that individual no more chances. In the verses below, notice what Jesus says:
"Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive Him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." - Matthew 18:21, 22
Christ is not saying that as soon as someone has wronged you 490 times, then at that point you don't have to forgive them anymore. What He is proclaiming is actually a representative of true unending forgiveness. Forgiveness means, "to cease to feel resentment against (an offender)" and it also implies letting it go and never bringing it up again. It has the idea of dropping it, or forgetting about it, because in all honesty, if you are keeping track, then you have never truly forgiven anyone.
Rarely will I pick up a remote and find myself watching television. Yet when I do, I find it interesting to watch murder cases, such as on Dateline, 48 Hours, etc. If ministry wasn't where the Lord was pushing me towards, then I would enjoy being a Crime Scene Investigator. The challenge of bringing in all of the evidence and finding out who did it by building the story of what happened, excites my thinking. I get a kick out of solving the case and answering the mysteries.
Yet the number one thing that breaks my heart the most on almost every one of these shows may surprise you. It's not the murder that pierces my gut, although I do feel for the families, but what cuts me to the quick is to watch the families and friends of both the victim and the murderer show absolutely no forgiveness. There is such a lacking in this area. It's like they don't even know that it is a word in the dictionary.
Instead, these people who once conversed with this now criminal, show hatred, disgust, bitterness, unforgiveness and so on towards this man or woman. What they fail to realize is that they are all capable of exactly the same thing, and now by hating this person, they have thus murdered him/her in their hearts. They have placed themselves into further bondage and condemnation, acting unjustly, rebellious, and having a higher view of themselves which ought not to be.
Many times we as Christians can act like the world in this fashion, however, God's word is very clear by informing us that if you do not know God, then you know not true forgiveness; thus it is impossible to do something you know nothing about. In fact, the only way we can wield a forgiving heart is by looking to our Savior and showing the same grace to others that He has shown to us. If our sin was infinitely against God yet He forgave us, how much more should we forgive others no matter who they are for the minor offense they have caused us?
Forgiveness is not holding it against them anymore. It is letting it go and never bringing it up again. It is recognizing your own fallen nature and sympathizing with them, although not condoning their actions.
The Lord is still bringing this to fruition in my life. I have, by His grace, come up with a resolution that I want to live my life by in this area. Resolved, as Christ forgave me on August 10, 2008 of all my iniquity past, present, and future; by that very power of His finished work 2000 years ago on the cross where His blood was shed, so I have forgiven everyone that I ever and will ever come into contact with already. The date that He forgave me was also the date that I, by His grace, forgave everyone else.
I would love to see a generation rise up that is willing to be the bigger person and forgive.
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