Several months ago, Caitlin and I were in a small
group Bible study reading through the well-known Proverbs 31 chapter. The
normal reading of this text is to see the characteristics of a godly woman but,
as the lesson was unfolding, I was wondering how I, a Christian man and godly
husband, fit into this passage. As you are aware, there is no Proverbs 32
written about the godly man so my
curiosity pushed me to search this passage to see what the application was for men
like me.
My quest began in the latter half of the chapter and
mainly concerned three verses.
1.
Verse 23 states,
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
In Old Testament times, having a seat at the gates
of a city meant that you were in a leadership role. It was a sign of status,
prominence, respect and revealed a certain level of governing authority. Notice
where and with whom her husband is sitting. He has a high position of influence
among the inhabitants of this city and it is from this location that we are
better able to understand the following verses.
2.
Verse 28 reads,
Her children rise up and call her
blessed; her husband also, and he praises her;
Notice again what the godly woman’s husband is
doing. His actions play a huge role into where he is sitting. What we see in
this passage is that her husband is publicly praising her. However, one must
wonder how exactly this praising is carried out and that is revealed in verse
31, the very last verse of the chapter.
3.
Verse 31 says,
Give her the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
The participants have changed, but the actions and
overall results have remained the same. In the verses prior, her husband is seen sitting in the gates and
is praising her, but this last verse says that her works praise her in the gates. Well, which is it: her husband or her works?
Her works are pictured praising her in the most
prominent place of the public sector, but she herself is not present at those
gates. So do not misunderstand, this is not conceited praise from the lips of
an arrogant woman making sure everyone in town knows about her. On the
contrary, she is nowhere near the public eye at this time, yet the leadership
and the entire city are all benefiting from her works. How can this be?
A Personal Application
In many of the blogs I write it has been natural for
me to have a more aggressive tendency. I fear that I have even turned people
away at times because of my harsh tone in the past. However, I have been deeply
impacted by the ministry of my wife to me. Proverbs 31:26 says, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the
teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” I have found this to be an accurate
description of the way my wife has influenced me, which is why she oversees the
editing of these blogs.
As I am currently in Seminary, I expect to someday
sit in a prominent place of leadership and influence over other people and have
come to recognize that God has used my godly wife to teach me to exercise
wisdom and kindness in my interactions with others.
Conclusion
In Proverbs 31 we see a husband who has benefited
so much from his wife that his ministry and role of leadership has been greatly
impacted by her ministry to him. It is her ministry in his life which has resulted in
much fruit. Her works of kindness, grace and generosity are shown in the personality
of her husband who is an authority in the city. He has learned much wisdom from
her and his manner indirectly praises her works.
This truth reveals her humility in the fact that she
does not seek to be seen. She is not concerned with having the spotlight on her
because the godly woman recognizes that the spotlight is to always remain on
Christ. As I listen to godly men such as John Piper, David Platt, Francis Chan
and others, I am curious as to how much of their wives’ influence on their own
lives I am hearing.
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