How do you
respond to someone who has wronged you and comes seeking forgiveness? What do
you say when they speak to you with a genuine heartfelt apology? When you
forgive, what words do you use?
We have all been
on the receiving end of an apology and I have found that I often struggle with
how I should respond. Upon reflection, I fear that my natural tendency is to
dismiss it as no big deal and I say things like “that’s okay” or “it’s fine.” But,
to be honest, it was not okay and it was not fine. What they did was sin and me
brushing it off as “no big deal” is not benefiting them.
I am learning
that God does not command us to dismiss evil. The proof is in the fact that He
Himself is not dismissing their actions but is convicting and leading them to
come and make peace with the one they have sinned against. God does not dismiss
sin. He confronts it with mercy and grace because He knows that confronting sin
is the most loving thing you can do for someone.
God did not find
Adam and Eve in the garden and say, “that’s okay” or “it’s no big deal.” He
confronted them because gracious confrontation has the potential to save
another’s life. James 5:19-20 states:
My brothers, if anyone
among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that
whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
It is not
helpful to dismiss another’s wrongdoings. Treating it as if it’s not a big deal
can indirectly encourage irresponsibility toward the offender because others may
also be saying that it’s not a big deal. This can become a serious problem as
we are unintentionally lowering the standard of godliness in each other’s life.
Our response
must be that of forgiveness and should be stated, “I forgive you.” This
acknowledges the wrong they have done, but it also assures them that the broken
fellowship has been restored. It is an appropriate way to acknowledge the sin
and will help to remind us that sin is a big deal and should not be minimized.
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