What Should I Personally Expect

I awoke from a dream at 4:06 am this morning. In all honesty, I can't even begin to articulate in words what I saw. A story cannot be written for what I beheld and no other human would be able to understand or grasp it because the meaning was for me.

The basic message was that as I seek to enter into the mission among indigenous people groups hoping to be a Bible translator and teacher, I am going to find myself in continual embarrassment. So often my pride is giving me this false idea that I am going to be some sort of hero for the mission, yet in all reality that is probably the farthest thing from the truth.

There will be things happen to me that I have never expected nor have I prepared for. Discomfort and confusion are mine for the taking. God will beat on my pride and continue to break me in many areas.

There were many horrible things in which I was shown that I can see would truly have opportunity to destroy me. There will be times when I just break down and cry and everyone around me will wonder why I don't just go back to the states. The people that God sent me to reach will think I am worthless, thus they will discourage me and make it evident that I need to leave.

On top of not being wanted by the tribe, the missionaries who are with me will be in hearty agreement with the people. They will see my weaknesses, which are many, and think that I am foolish for staying. Yet even in this I will stay in order that I may win them to Christ.

I do not plan on going into missions seeking a comfortable life, because it isn't there to be found. The life of one who desires to serve and be used by God involves persecution, suffering, and death. Jesus said that if we truly want to follow Him, then we will be hated. We will be martyred. We will be persecuted, put on trial, and earn the right to die. In the world's eyes there is no good that can come out of following Christ, however, God sees it as the best thing you must do!

I will go, not to find comfort, but to glorify God because Jesus Christ is worthy! All worship belongs to Him alone and it is His desire that has been placed in my heart to see every tribe, and tongue, and nation worshipping God Most High around the throne.

I will stay because that is where He has me. The enemy will try and play god by telling me a false will for my life. It is possible that Satan will use even the missionaries on my team to discourage me and tell me to leave. It will seem to be clear evidence that I should go, however, by God's grace, I will not be ignorant of the Devil's schemes.

I will pray more than ever because overseas God will be my only friend and my only true source of encouragement. It is true that there will be individuals praying for me everyday, yet they will still be 7,000 miles away.

Me in missions is and always will be foolishness to everyone who knows me, yet this I know, that His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is perfected and magnified in my weakness. In the end God will show that my life in Him was truly an indispensable part of the body of Christ and on that great and glorious day I will stand unashamed and hear those precious words, "Well done, My good and faithful servant!"

I am not saying that my life will turn out exactly this way, but this was the dream I had. So in all of this, what should I personally expect? I expect and trust that God will be faithful as always no matter what comes about!